Modern Advertising

>“Arrange a meeting with your boss and Petersen.
Someone working as an unappreciated assistant”The advertisement shoot was to start in two
receives a two and a half million-dollar fee from hisdays. Discussing it with Garretson and Petersen,
own company for producing a website-based adCharles Hawk decided to go ahead with the shoot
campaign that costs just slightly more than oneregardless, since they’d spent so much on it
thousand dollars. He then gives away half a million toalready. “But we’ll put a hold on all plans to
charities.launching it.
Scott carefully pushed the conference door with his” Charles Hawk stood, and his two minions
shoulder, all the while watching the tray of coffeefollowed his lead. “You have until the end of the
cups. As the door opened, he heard the soft whisperday to check out Silfur Talsyn.
of executive voices. He turned, letting the door” At five thirty pm, his assistant showed
swing shut, and the murmur died away. Worried,Garretson and Petersen back into Charles
Scott inadvertently clenched the tray. His fingersHawk’s office. Charles Hawk was waiting,
relaxed as he saw it wasn’t anythinghands folded on his lap. “So, what have you found
he’d done. Charles Hawk, the vice presidentout?”Petersen jumped in first. “I checked their
of new projects stood looking at his minions. “So,website and they’re clearly a fast-moving,
if we are gong to launch this amazing next wavebold, wireless, ‘redefine assumptions’ style
computer storage device, we need to advertise. Getof company. Plus, no one has a bad word to say
our name out there, so people know ‘Dataabout them.
Crystals’ have replaced floppy disks.””Garretson gave a dry chuckle. “I contacted a
Scott started moving around the room, puttingbroad range of people, and no one has a bad word
coffee cups in front of the executives and trying notto say because no one has even heard of Silfur
to be noticed. Didn’t they know removableTalsyn. They were registered as a company just a
drives had replaced floppies? At best, data crystalsmonth ago in Florida where you can register fairly
would replace CD-ROM. Charles Hawk looked atcheaply. It is a private company, owned and run by
Petersen, who nodded. “Advertising, in the modernsomeone named Scott Carpenter.
world, means television.” Unnoticed, Scott shook” None of them recalled hearing of him before.
his head. Petersen gestured at the papers in front ofCharles Hawk tapped his expensive-looking pen. “It
him. “We’ll need about three hundredis only two and a half, but I’d hate to delay
thousand to make a pair of ads, and then onethe launch by three months.
hundred thousand to run them. We’ll do five”Petersen grinned. “Well, give it a month and a
times the first week, then three a week for threehalf and then reconsider. With the ad in the can, we
months.” All eyes turned back to Charles Hawk. Hecan launch in two months to overlap with the Silfur
watched Garretson from accounting tapping at hisTalsyn campaign…perhaps tailoring our campaign to
palmtop computer. “Three, and five, and fortydovetail if they have any success.
two for fourteen weeks… A nice even five”Scott called in sick and then took out the bank
million.” He glanced suspiciously at Petersen.statement again.
“Exactly five.” He nodded to Charles Hawk.Silfur Talsyn’s assets had gone from less than
“We can do that.”three hundred dollars to two million, five hundred
Scott left, still unnoticed. They tossed around millionsthousand, two hundred and eighty four dollars
like it was play money. What could he do with theovernight. He got busy spending some of the money.
five million they were about to waste advertisingThen he realized he might as well quit his job. For the
non-rewritable devices on television?next three months he was the head of a company
Garretson picked up the phone handset. Before hewith two million dollars. Then he’d either be
could even identify himself, Charles Hawk’srich, or broke. Either way, his life as a lowly assistant
executive assistant asked, “Did you look at thatwas over.
outside bid for the data crystal advertising?”Scott emailed the address of his new website to
“Outside bid?”everyone in the company as well as various friends
“It should be there.”and contacts.
Hawk’s assistant sounded either worried orThe website claimed a group, which couldn’t
excited. “In a red folder, in accord with the newconfirm it was the CIA, or even a federal
company procedures.” Garretson looked throughgovernment agency, had transferred the files they
the pile of files and found a standard red folder.didn’t keep on all citizens onto the new data
“Here it is. When did we start outsourcing?”crystals. Below the information about data crystals
“We aren’t, unless they can do the jobthey explained this had saved them nearly half a
much cheaper. I think someone just wants to showmillion dollars. Not wanting to return money, since
that outside contractors wouldn’t be morethey’d then get a smaller budget next year,
efficient by letting them bid to do peripheral jobs.”the might-be-CIA was giving the money away. One
Hawk’s assistant paused, and then soundedhundred and twenty thousand dollars was to be sent
calmer. “There is a copy of the memo with theeach month, for four months, to the charity most
bid. Let me know what you think.”voted for by people visiting the site. Each winner was
Garretson looked through the folder finding the copyto be excluded from further wins.
of the memo that had been sent to a contractor,Garretson voted for The Red Cross, giving his email
‘Silfur Talsyn’. It was a photocopy of aaddress as proof of identity. Curious that Silfur Talsyn
photocopy but he could read most of it. It wascould afford to give away so much, Garretson
largely ‘waffle’ about making the companyrealized they were only giving away the half a million
more efficient by using outside contractors if theyhe’d casually offered with the extra five
could do a job just as well but for lower costs.percent penalty. He decided it would be best not to
Garretson suspected that the company would buytell anyone that.
out any company that did anything more efficientIn a week, the website was mentioned on various
than the existing department so to replace them.television news shows and in a number of
Unfortunately, one time the memo was photocopiednewspapers, and reporters began investigating. They
someone hadn’t unfolded it completely, so theannounced the website was owned by Silfur Talsyn,
bottom of the text was missing. Without theand that the name was Icelandic for ‘Silver
signature block and department, GarretsonPhantom’ or ‘Silver Will-o-the-Wisp’.
couldn’t tell who’d written the originalThat seemed appropriate, as people failed to
memo. Turning to the bid itself, Silfur Talsyn offereddiscover much else about the company. All mail to
nationwide advertising for a period of three months,their P.
for two million dollars. They seemed to think theO. Box in Gainesville was redirected, so the head of
company had budgeted for three and a half to fourSilfur Talsyn seemed to be in the same city as
million. If it was real, and they could deliver on theirGarretson.
promise, the company would save millions. There hadAnnoyed, some reporters started attacking Silfur
to be a catch.Talsyn, claiming it was cruel to promise such a large
Reading carefully, Garretson found nothing amiss.donation and not deliver. Scott Carpenter replied by
Silfur Talsyn was offering virtually the same goals forpointing out that the first donation was due in five
audience targets as their five million dollar campaign,days, so he hadn’t defaulted. Then he
and a full refund if they failed to meet those targets.followed by saying that the donation would be made
Putting it aside Garretson leaned back, staring intoon time, live on the ‘The Oprah Winfrey
space turning the facts over in his mind. After a fewShow’.
minutes, it came to him. “That is cunning. It is suchGarretson was watching, and saw Scott, who used
a trivial detail, it might have just worked.” He calledto work for Petersen, representing Silfur Talsyn. Not
Hawk’s assistant. “Sorry, it only looks like aonly speaking on behalf of the president of Silfur
golden goose. It’s just a scam. They have noTalsyn, but claiming to be Scott Carpenter.
intention of doing anything. They will just take ourGarretson called his fellow executive. “That kid,
money, and then bank it in a short-term bond atScott, who worked for you… What was his last
twelve percent earning sixty thousand. After threename?”“I’m watching too, and I have
months, they will apologize for their failure, refund oursomeone finding out right now.
original two million and pocket seventy five thousand”Two months into the contract, Scott wrote to
for doing nothing.”Charles Hawk detailing how many people had voted
“Are you sure?”on and stating Silfur Talsyn had already exceeded the
“Look, write back to them in…” he looked attargets promised. Scott asked if the company wished
the folder, “Gainesville, and offer them two and ato pay another one million three hundred and sixty
half, but with a hundred and five percent penaltythousand dollars for another three months of
clause. If I’m right, they’ll say no, sincenot-CIA Charity. The letter also offered to stream
investing our money will get them seventy five, buttheir ad on his website, twenty-four hours a day, for
they’ll owe us an extra one hundred andwhat it would cost to broadcasting it on television
twenty five.”once a week. Charles Hawk sent copies to Petersen
Scott was shocked to be offered another half aand Garretson with a brief note.
million, and spent hours confused as to why“Organize website and streaming our ad. Hire this
they’d offered more, and why they wantedguy.
one hundred and five percent back. Was he”Garretson contacted Scott, suggesting one million
supposed to make a hundred thousand dollars, astwo hundred and forty thousand, since he’d
well as run a successful advertising campaign?already committed to pay the fourth donation.
He’d sent the bid, and phony memo,“Am I getting the hundred thousand a
expecting failure would only cost him around threeweek?”“If you agree, yes.
hundred dollars in expenses. Why were the stakes”“Okay.
suddenly raised so high?After nearly three hours, he”Garretson hesitated, but then decided to be
realized the potential for interest on two milliondirect. “Charles Hawk also wants us to hire you.
dollars.What could we offer to lure you back?”Scott
He wrestled with himself for a few days. How surelaughed. “I have millions of dollars. I’m
was he his idea would work? Was he willing to betgetting all kinds of offers to do talk shows and head
his house and his car his idea was as good, or better,charities.
than their out-of-date television campaign?In the end,” He went silent.
he decided he didn’t have that much to lose,Garretson lowered his voice. “Any way I could
and it would be sure to work, if he was willing toconvince Silfur Talsyn to hire me?”“No, sorry
give away the half a million bonus.Garretson. I’m selling the company and retiring
This time, Hawk’s assistant came over toat the end of the three month extension.
Garretson’s office. “Silfur Talsyn agreed. A”After selling Silfur Talsyn, Scott told someone
penalty of one hundred and five percent.he’d worked for the same company that
”Garretson stared at him. “So. Ithe’d run his million dollar advertising campaign
wasn’t… isn’t a simple scam.for. During the resulting media frenzy, he did an ad
” He gestured for the assistant to leave.for a credit card company.