| It's all jus' dialogue!The Darwin E-mail IncidentI was | | | | Evolution or Creationism...Creationists are illiterate. It's |
| talking online, bashing Creationists, Catholics, and | | | | as simple as that. I know that if I had doubts about |
| anyone else who was easily offended by the | | | | a belief, I would read the primary book supporting |
| anatomically correct word for fucking, and a | | | | that belief. I read the Bible, and I don't believe it, and |
| mysterious dilemma unfolded. The first five or so | | | | I have shown in some of my writings reasons why. I |
| lines actually occured, and inspired me to write this | | | | also read "Origin of the Species" by Charles Darwin. |
| article. Lez watch!Conversation With | | | | The fact that you can't draw out examples why he |
| Creationist...Creationist: Your Evolutionist lies are false! | | | | was wrong, or why you don't even attack his base |
| False false false false!Punkerslut: You see, though, | | | | arguments, is quite clear of one fact: you must be |
| there are Reversionary and Vestigial organs which | | | | illiterate. Because, if someone opposed Evolution |
| show that we have ancestors that were from a | | | | without reading the words of scientists, and they |
| lower species.Creationist: What do you mean? Just | | | | opposed it so vehemently that they vocalized their |
| forget it... Give me Darwin's e-mail address so I can | | | | opinion as much as possible, it would be quite clear |
| tell him he's wrong.Punkerslut: | | | | that they were stupid beyond belief. But I would not |
| Uuummmmm.....Creationist: Come on! Don't be a | | | | like to assume this about you at all, so I will just |
| coward! If your ideas can stand up to criticism, tell | | | | settle with illiterate.Thank you, again, for your |
| me Darwin's e-mail address!Punkerslut: | | | | website. 108, |
| Uuuummmmm....Creationist: I knew it! You're afraid I'll | | | | Punkerslut*************************Date: Sat, 10 |
| prove Darwin wrong! Admit it!Punkerslut: Actually.... | | | | May 2003 10:44:20 -0700 |
| Darwin's e-mail address is... [glances around quickly] ... | | | | From: To: Subject: Re: An Inquiry on Darwin's |
| Yeah, that's it.[Note: That's my e-mail address, | | | | WorksHey Ben,Thanks for your note. Wow - you've |
| folks.]Creationist: Good! I'll be taking care of him | | | | got some thick |
| shortly!Punkerslut: You know he's German, too, | | | | glasses on. But best wishes for the |
| right?Creationist: Of course I knew that!Letter From | | | | future.Paul*************************Date: |
| Creationist To "Darwin"...Gutentag, Heir Darwin,It has | | | | Saturday, May 10, 2003 |
| come to my attention that you think a monkey gave | | | | To: Subject: Re: An Inquiry on Darwin's WorksI have |
| birth to a human. Stop telling lies, because they're | | | | some thick glasses on? I sure hope that's not some |
| teaching it in the schools. If you have any evidence | | | | retarded reference to the theology of Van Til. I |
| please bring it up.Yours in Christ,Letter From "Darwin" | | | | know I can't read much of his work without thinking |
| to Creationist"...Zeig heil!I, Darwin, would like to start | | | | that humans just might not be the most intelligent |
| this letter off with some interesting observations I've | | | | creature on the world. I mean, truly, there are some |
| noticed...(1) You are...(2) Dumb.(3) Repeat 1 and 2 as | | | | Christian works out there which simply are |
| necessary.(4) Not tested on animals.Furthermore... I | | | | marvelous, though all of them today are still |
| am gay, and I have sexual fetishes about Sigmund | | | | considered heretical. Tolstoi, for example, was a |
| Freud, but he doesn't know this yet. I'm thinking | | | | great mind, and he called himself a Christian, but he |
| about asking one of the people he sits with at lunch | | | | was excommunicated for believing that there was no |
| to tell him, but I dunno.Sincerely, | | | | afterlife.Anyway, feel free to tell me where Darwin |
| DarwinLetter From Creationist To "Darwin"...Since | | | | went wrong in "Descent of Man" or "Origin of the |
| you are a living abomination (you like men the way | | | | Species," and if you don't make any more Van |
| men should like women), I will not consort with you. | | | | Til-related remarks, I may respond. Life, |
| Begone, foul minion!You're in my prayers, | | | | Punkerslut*************************Date: Tue, 13 |
| Darwin...Yours in Christ,Conversation With | | | | May 2003 10:23:55 -0700 |
| Creationist...Creationist: Darwin's gay!Punkerslut: Huh? | | | | From: |
| Oh, well, yeah, I guess he is.Creationist: What's | | | | To: |
| Sigmund Freud's e-mail?Punkerslut: Uuhhh, | | | | Subject: Re: An Inquiry on Darwin's WorksHi,Yeah, |
| heheh...Creationist: Tell me!Punkerslut: It's, uhhhh, | | | | thick glasses ... and an attitude. Why the |
| ..Creationist: Hey, that's the same as | | | | emotions? Are you considering our origins |
| Darwin's!Punkerslut: Hhhmmm, you're right, it is. Just | | | | scientifically |
| make sure you address who you're talking to. They | | | | or (actually) emotionally and with prejudice....high |
| like, all live in the same dorm and use the same | | | | schoolers... (sigh) |
| computer.Creationist: Oh, okay.Punkerslut: Don't | | | | ...*************************[written under high |
| forget that he's Vietnamese!Letter From Creationist | | | | infulence of aclohlo.]Date: Tuesday, May 13, 2003 |
| To "Freud"...Hoa Bin Freud,Tika tika tong, evolution | | | | To: Subject: Re: An Inquiry on Darwin's WorksHa, |
| wrong, | | | | amusing..."High schoolers..." That's incredibly amusing. |
| Foo foo fay, darwin gay, | | | | Instead of actually making any statement of |
| Taa taa too, he dreams of you,Muka muka mighst, | | | | relevance to the current debate, you devert to |
| yours in Christ,Letter From "Freud" to | | | | some inept, two year old remark. "High schoolers..." It |
| Creationist....Aca picka ticka bata picka alca picka too | | | | doesn't even fit me, because I'm a high school drop |
| picka alta ticka pik tana sicka Darwina...Conversation | | | | out. But that doesn't change anything. You haven't |
| With Creationist...Creationist: Hey, what gives with | | | | brought any of Darwin's points to light. You haven't |
| Freud? He doesn't make any sense!Punkerslut: Yeah, | | | | criticized even a single one of them. And since you |
| I forget. He's Vietnamese, but he speaks | | | | didn't really consider any of my e-mails, I'm still highly |
| Hindustani.Creationist: Aaawwww, and I went through | | | | convinced that you're simply illiterate. Life, |
| all that trouble translating.Punkerslut: I'm sure you | | | | PunkerslutPunkerslut's Opinion On HazingPunkerslut: |
| did.Creationist: What do you mean by that?Punkerslut: | | | | Hey, I got suspended from campus.Friend: What the |
| Uhhh, nothing.Letter from "Darwin" to Creationist...Zeig | | | | hell for?Punkerslut: Fighting. I beat the crap out of |
| heil!I am sorry if I offended you my stating I was | | | | some guy who was about to haze someone |
| gay. But please, send me your picture. I've been | | | | else.Friend: Good job, man.A week later...Punkerslut: |
| getting... restless.Yours in Gay-Ness, | | | | Hey, they found out that I was doing something |
| Darwin,Letter from Creationist to "Darwin"...I refuse | | | | good and they welcomed me back to campus.Friend: |
| to further continue talking to you, and now I will | | | | Right on.Punkerslut: But then I asked, "If I killed him, |
| forward these e-mails to my system administrator | | | | would I get straight As for this quarter?" And then |
| with a note that you've been harassing me. You are | | | | they threw me off campus again.Friend: |
| the weakest link, Darwin! Good bye!Letter from | | | | Sucks.Punkerslut's PromiscuityPunkerslut: Hey, I'm |
| Creationist to System Administrator...Hello,There's a | | | | gonna get something to drink. You want some |
| gay, German scientist named Darwin who invented | | | | soda?Female: Yeah, sure.Punkerslut: When I come |
| Evolution, and his sexual advances towards me lately | | | | back, you want to make out?Female: Uhhhmmm, I'm |
| have been unbearable. Please, disable his | | | | not that kind of girl.Punkerslut: Well, what kind of girl |
| account.Letters to a CreationistActual letters by | | | | are you?Female: The kind that doesn't make out with |
| Punkerslut to Creationist... written while on drugs or | | | | guys she barely knows.Punkerslut: You could have |
| alcohol.... first letter written under leftover Dex.Date: | | | | just said no and I would have picked that |
| Thursday, May 8, 2003 | | | | up.Biodome[Added on Wednesday, June 4, 2003, at |
| To: Subject: An Inquiry on Darwin's WorksGreetings, | | | | 4:31 in the morning.]Punkerslut: In computer class, we |
| and well met,I had the fortunate opportunity to | | | | watched two movies. First, "Biodome." And then, |
| come across your website on Creationism when | | | | "Tron." All the preps and jocks were bored during |
| searching the web for information on this belief.I read | | | | "Tron" and loved "Biodome;" but the outcasts, the |
| the "Creationism FAQ," but I thought it was thick | | | | geeks, the nerds, the social rejects, the political |
| with propaganda. For example, look at every question | | | | dissidents, the artsy kids, and even the bling bling |
| you answer -- or every question which you put in | | | | rappers and gangstas hated "Biodome" and loved |
| the mouth of the Evolution scientist. It's not | | | | "Tron." "'ey, G... Tron is da' bom', yo'." Okay, so |
| reasoned, nor is it logical, nor is it even respectful. | | | | nobody really said exactly that, but it was like |
| Instead, you sort of create the debate for both | | | | that.Friend: What the hell is "Biodome" |
| sides, without actually quoting any scientists -- | | | | about?Punkerslut: Oh, well, Pauly Shore is in it.Friend: |
| despite how you say you "present both sides of the | | | | That right there is a review, synopsis, summary, and |
| media, unlike liberal media and Hollywood." The | | | | conclusion to the film.Punkerslut: Tru dat, brotha'. |
| Evolution scientist appears to be vulgar and insulting, | | | | Life,Punkerslut (or Andy Carloff) has been writing |
| whereas you try to make your arguments well | | | | essays and poetry on social issues which have |
| reasoned.I also skimmed the "A Defense of | | | | caught his attention for several years. His website |
| Creationism," and I tried to skip all the boring, | | | | provides a complete list of all of these writings. His |
| circumstantial evidence and get to the part where | | | | life experience includes homelessness, squating in |
| you actually answer the primary evidences of | | | | New Orleans and LA, dropping out of high school, |
| Evolution, but.... I reached the Conclusion of the paper | | | | getting expelled from college for "subversive |
| before actually getting to that part.This leads me to | | | | activities," and a myriad of other revolutionary |
| a new, higher belief, one more valid than either | | | | actions. |