| It's all jus' dialogue!The Darwin E-mail | | | | doubts about a belief, I would read the |
| IncidentI was talking online, bashing | | | | primary book supporting that belief. I read |
| Creationists, Catholics, and anyone else who | | | | the Bible, and I don't believe it, and I have |
| was easily offended by the anatomically | | | | shown in some of my writings reasons why. I |
| correct word for fucking, and a mysterious | | | | also read "Origin of the Species" by Charles |
| dilemma unfolded. The first five or so lines | | | | Darwin. The fact that you can't draw out |
| actually occured, and inspired me to write | | | | examples why he was wrong, or why you don't |
| this article. Lez watch!Conversation With | | | | even attack his base arguments, is quite |
| Creationist...Creationist: Your Evolutionist | | | | clear of one fact: you must be illiterate. |
| lies are false! False false false | | | | Because, if someone opposed Evolution without |
| false!Punkerslut: You see, though, there are | | | | reading the words of scientists, and they |
| Reversionary and Vestigial organs which show | | | | opposed it so vehemently that they vocalized |
| that we have ancestors that were from a lower | | | | their opinion as much as possible, it would |
| species.Creationist: What do you mean? Just | | | | be quite clear that they were stupid beyond |
| forget it... Give me Darwin's e-mail address | | | | belief. But I would not like to assume this |
| so I can tell him he's wrong.Punkerslut: | | | | about you at all, so I will just settle with |
| Uuummmmm.....Creationist: Come on! Don't be | | | | illiterate.Thank you, again, for your |
| a coward! If your ideas can stand up to | | | | website. 108, |
| criticism, tell me Darwin's e-mail | | | | |
| address!Punkerslut: | | | | Punkerslut*************************Date: |
| Uuuummmmm....Creationist: I knew it! You're | | | | Sat, 10 May 2003 10:44:20 -0700 |
| afraid I'll prove Darwin wrong! Admit | | | | |
| it!Punkerslut: Actually.... Darwin's e-mail | | | | From: To: Subject: Re: An Inquiry on |
| address is... [glances around quickly] ... | | | | Darwin's WorksHey Ben,Thanks for your note. |
| Yeah, that's it.[Note: That's my e-mail | | | | Wow - you've got some thick |
| address, folks.]Creationist: Good! I'll be | | | | |
| taking care of him shortly!Punkerslut: You | | | | glasses on. But best wishes for the |
| know he's German, too, right?Creationist: Of | | | | future.Paul*************************Date: |
| course I knew that!Letter From Creationist To | | | | Saturday, May 10, 2003 |
| "Darwin"...Gutentag, Heir Darwin,It has come | | | | |
| to my attention that you think a monkey gave | | | | To: Subject: Re: An Inquiry on Darwin's |
| birth to a human. Stop telling lies, because | | | | WorksI have some thick glasses on? I sure |
| they're teaching it in the schools. If you | | | | hope that's not some retarded reference to |
| have any evidence please bring it up.Yours in | | | | the theology of Van Til. I know I can't read |
| Christ,Letter From "Darwin" to | | | | much of his work without thinking that humans |
| Creationist"...Zeig heil!I, Darwin, would | | | | just might not be the most intelligent |
| like to start this letter off with some | | | | creature on the world. I mean, truly, there |
| interesting observations I've noticed...(1) | | | | are some Christian works out there which |
| You are...(2) Dumb.(3) Repeat 1 and 2 as | | | | simply are marvelous, though all of them |
| necessary.(4) Not tested on | | | | today are still considered heretical. |
| animals.Furthermore... I am gay, and I have | | | | Tolstoi, for example, was a great mind, and |
| sexual fetishes about Sigmund Freud, but he | | | | he called himself a Christian, but he was |
| doesn't know this yet. I'm thinking about | | | | excommunicated for believing that there was |
| asking one of the people he sits with at | | | | no afterlife.Anyway, feel free to tell me |
| lunch to tell him, but I dunno.Sincerely, | | | | where Darwin went wrong in "Descent of Man" |
| | | | or "Origin of the Species," and if you don't |
| DarwinLetter From Creationist To | | | | make any more Van Til-related remarks, I may |
| "Darwin"...Since you are a living abomination | | | | respond. Life, |
| (you like men the way men should like women), | | | | |
| I will not consort with you. Begone, foul | | | | Punkerslut*************************Date: |
| minion!You're in my prayers, Darwin...Yours | | | | Tue, 13 May 2003 10:23:55 -0700 |
| in Christ,Conversation With | | | | |
| Creationist...Creationist: Darwin's | | | | From: |
| gay!Punkerslut: Huh? Oh, well, yeah, I | | | | |
| guess he is.Creationist: What's Sigmund | | | | To: |
| Freud's e-mail?Punkerslut: Uuhhh, | | | | |
| heheh...Creationist: Tell me!Punkerslut: | | | | Subject: Re: An Inquiry on Darwin's |
| It's, uhhhh, ..Creationist: Hey, that's the | | | | WorksHi,Yeah, thick glasses ... and an |
| same as Darwin's!Punkerslut: Hhhmmm, you're | | | | attitude. Why the |
| right, it is. Just make sure you address who | | | | |
| you're talking to. They like, all live in | | | | emotions? Are you considering our origins |
| the same dorm and use the same | | | | scientifically |
| computer.Creationist: Oh, okay.Punkerslut: | | | | |
| Don't forget that he's Vietnamese!Letter From | | | | or (actually) emotionally and with |
| Creationist To "Freud"...Hoa Bin Freud,Tika | | | | prejudice....high schoolers... (sigh) |
| tika tong, evolution wrong, | | | | ...*************************[written under |
| | | | high infulence of aclohlo.]Date: Tuesday, |
| Foo foo fay, darwin gay, | | | | May 13, 2003 |
| | | | |
| Taa taa too, he dreams of you,Muka muka | | | | To: Subject: Re: An Inquiry on Darwin's |
| mighst, yours in Christ,Letter From "Freud" | | | | WorksHa, amusing..."High schoolers..." |
| to Creationist....Aca picka ticka bata picka | | | | That's incredibly amusing. Instead of |
| alca picka too picka alta ticka pik tana | | | | actually making any statement of relevance to |
| sicka Darwina...Conversation With | | | | the current debate, you devert to some inept, |
| Creationist...Creationist: Hey, what gives | | | | two year old remark. "High schoolers..." It |
| with Freud? He doesn't make any | | | | doesn't even fit me, because I'm a high |
| sense!Punkerslut: Yeah, I forget. He's | | | | school drop out. But that doesn't change |
| Vietnamese, but he speaks | | | | anything. You haven't brought any of |
| Hindustani.Creationist: Aaawwww, and I went | | | | Darwin's points to light. You haven't |
| through all that trouble | | | | criticized even a single one of them. And |
| translating.Punkerslut: I'm sure you | | | | since you didn't really consider any of my |
| did.Creationist: What do you mean by | | | | e-mails, I'm still highly convinced that |
| that?Punkerslut: Uhhh, nothing.Letter from | | | | you're simply illiterate. Life, |
| "Darwin" to Creationist...Zeig heil!I am | | | | |
| sorry if I offended you my stating I was gay. | | | | PunkerslutPunkerslut's Opinion On |
| But please, send me your picture. I've been | | | | HazingPunkerslut: Hey, I got suspended from |
| getting... restless.Yours in Gay-Ness, | | | | campus.Friend: What the hell for?Punkerslut: |
| | | | Fighting. I beat the crap out of some guy |
| Darwin,Letter from Creationist to | | | | who was about to haze someone else.Friend: |
| "Darwin"...I refuse to further continue | | | | Good job, man.A week later...Punkerslut: |
| talking to you, and now I will forward these | | | | Hey, they found out that I was doing |
| e-mails to my system administrator with a | | | | something good and they welcomed me back to |
| note that you've been harassing me. You are | | | | campus.Friend: Right on.Punkerslut: But |
| the weakest link, Darwin! Good bye!Letter | | | | then I asked, "If I killed him, would I get |
| from Creationist to System | | | | straight As for this quarter?" And then they |
| Administrator...Hello,There's a gay, German | | | | threw me off campus again.Friend: |
| scientist named Darwin who invented | | | | Sucks.Punkerslut's PromiscuityPunkerslut: |
| Evolution, and his sexual advances towards me | | | | Hey, I'm gonna get something to drink. You |
| lately have been unbearable. Please, disable | | | | want some soda?Female: Yeah, |
| his account.Letters to a CreationistActual | | | | sure.Punkerslut: When I come back, you want |
| letters by Punkerslut to Creationist... | | | | to make out?Female: Uhhhmmm, I'm not that |
| written while on drugs or alcohol.... first | | | | kind of girl.Punkerslut: Well, what kind of |
| letter written under leftover Dex.Date: | | | | girl are you?Female: The kind that doesn't |
| Thursday, May 8, 2003 | | | | make out with guys she barely |
| | | | knows.Punkerslut: You could have just said |
| To: Subject: An Inquiry on Darwin's | | | | no and I would have picked that |
| WorksGreetings, and well met,I had the | | | | up.Biodome[Added on Wednesday, June 4, 2003, |
| fortunate opportunity to come across your | | | | at 4:31 in the morning.]Punkerslut: In |
| website on Creationism when searching the web | | | | computer class, we watched two movies. |
| for information on this belief.I read the | | | | First, "Biodome." And then, "Tron." All the |
| "Creationism FAQ," but I thought it was thick | | | | preps and jocks were bored during "Tron" and |
| with propaganda. For example, look at every | | | | loved "Biodome;" but the outcasts, the geeks, |
| question you answer -- or every question | | | | the nerds, the social rejects, the political |
| which you put in the mouth of the Evolution | | | | dissidents, the artsy kids, and even the |
| scientist. It's not reasoned, nor is it | | | | bling bling rappers and gangstas hated |
| logical, nor is it even respectful. Instead, | | | | "Biodome" and loved "Tron." "'ey, G... Tron |
| you sort of create the debate for both sides, | | | | is da' bom', yo'." Okay, so nobody really |
| without actually quoting any scientists -- | | | | said exactly that, but it was like |
| despite how you say you "present both sides | | | | that.Friend: What the hell is "Biodome" |
| of the media, unlike liberal media and | | | | about?Punkerslut: Oh, well, Pauly Shore is |
| Hollywood." The Evolution scientist appears | | | | in it.Friend: That right there is a review, |
| to be vulgar and insulting, whereas you try | | | | synopsis, summary, and conclusion to the |
| to make your arguments well reasoned.I also | | | | film.Punkerslut: Tru dat, brotha'. |
| skimmed the "A Defense of Creationism," and I | | | | Life,Punkerslut (or Andy Carloff) has been |
| tried to skip all the boring, circumstantial | | | | writing essays and poetry on social issues |
| evidence and get to the part where you | | | | which have caught his attention for several |
| actually answer the primary evidences of | | | | years. His website provides a complete list |
| Evolution, but.... I reached the Conclusion | | | | of all of these writings. His life experience |
| of the paper before actually getting to that | | | | includes homelessness, squating in New |
| part.This leads me to a new, higher belief, | | | | Orleans and LA, dropping out of high school, |
| one more valid than either Evolution or | | | | getting expelled from college for "subversive |
| Creationism...Creationists are illiterate. | | | | activities," and a myriad of other |
| It's as simple as that. I know that if I had | | | | revolutionary actions. |